Guidelines For Dealing With Marital Crisis Involving Separation and Divorce of The Lutheran Church Missouri Synod Clergy (A Policy statement adopted by the Council of Presidents, The Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod, April 29,1987) _________________________________________________________________ This text was converted to ascii format for Project Wittenberg by Rev. Robert Grothe, and is in the public domain. You may freely distribute, copy or print this text. Please direct any comments or suggestions to: Rev. Robert E. Smith of the Walther Library at Concordia Theological Seminary. E-mail: smithre@mail.ctsfw.edu Surface Mail: 6600 N. Clinton St., Ft. Wayne, IN 46825 USA Phone: (260) 481-2123 Fax: (260) 481-2126 ________________________________________________________________ PREAMBLE "The saying is sure, if anyone aspires to the office of bishop he desires a noble task. Now a bishop must be above reproach." (I Tim. 3:1-2). Those words to a brother pastor set before us the high requirements of the office of the public ministry. In public, in private and in personal life, the one who aspires to the office of pastor is called to a most high standard. By focusing here on the marital relationship, we do not intend to diminish the other requirements of the office of the public ministry. The reality of continuing concerns in situations of clergy separation and divorce have prompted us to study carefully the issues and offer appropriate guidelines. __________ One of the continuing dilemmas for the human family is the difficulty so many encounter in sustaining marital and family relationships. God's intention for marriage is clear. While not everyone is expected to marry, those who do must understand "that He who made them from the beginning made them male and female and said, `for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one'. So they are no longer two but one. What therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder." (Matt. 19:4-6). "Let marriage be held in honor among all" (Heb. 13:4) is the clear and consistent matrimonial principle of Scripture. The gap between God's gracious will and human sinfulness is glaringly evident when people who want and need enduring family ties are unable to maintain and enrich them, and instead experience and even cause pain, alienation, offense, loneliness and loss. __________ Professional church workers are not immune to this dilemma. One of the realities facing the church of today is the tragedy of marriage breakup, not only among the laity, but among the clergy as well. For Christians it is a tremendous challenge to deal with that reality in both a caring and consistent way. Some church bodies and congregations have handled cases of clergy divorce in a cut and dried legalistic fashion. They contend that divorce, for whatever reason, disqualifies a man from further public ministry. Others seem to have gone to the opposite extreme and simply allow divorced clergy to remain in public ministry no matter what the reason(s) may have been that precipitated the divorce. What we are seeking to do here is to find a consistent approach that avoids both of these extremes. We want what is faithful to the Scriptures and best for the church, its servants and its people. Our approach needs to be both explicit and pastoral. First of all, we joyously affirm the efficacy of God's grace to cover the multitude of all of our sins and to restore fallen people to the joy of their salvation. God's Spirit is surely able to restore a clean heart, not only in a repentant King David, but to hosts of others who have sinned and come short of the glory of God. At the same time, we take seriously the high calling of what it means to be a member of God's flock, and especially a pastor of the flock. __________ What God says about all marriages and his will for marriage is stated in simple straightforward language. His expectation is high Matt. 19:5-6). The relationship of marriage is to be regarded as holy and should be given the highest priority in one's personal and professional life. Special expectations are placed on the man who has been called to be a pastor in the flock of God. The Lord himself warns his disciples about the dangers of causing little ones who believe in him to sin (Matt. 18:5-7). By virtue of the call into the office of the public ministry, the pastor becomes an example to all believers. Thus it is required that a pastor and his wife be so conscious of the interweaving of sin and grace in their lives that personal activities do not become a cause for scandal. Consequently when a pastor's marriage is broken, the problem is compounded not only because it is a clear and public violation of the will of God, but also because of the inconsistent witness it gives to the world. The Apostle Paul says, "We put no obstacle in anyone's way, so that no fault may be found with our ministry" (II Cor. 6:3). In the New Testament epistles, in a rather specific way, God emphasizes the witness which a pastor is to give by his own excellent example in marriage and family life. (I Tim. 3:1-7; Titus 1:5-9, I Pet. 5:3). __________ The following guidelines are proposed to provide an evangelical and consistent approach to the question: "What do we do when a pastor is involved in marital stress which could end in divorce?" When a pastor's marriage is broken it becomes a serious problem for that person, his wife and family, for the congregation or employing agency, for the District President and for the whole church. It is our prayer that God will use these guidelines as an effective instrument for dealing with divorce and separation within the clergy. __________ NOTE: Many of the basic principles that are set forth concerning the pastoral of five also have application to other called professional church workers. __________ I. Guidelines for dealing With marital crisis within the clergy. A. Divorce is definitely not God's way of resolving marriage problems. His standards do not change from one generation to another. When a pastor's marriage becomes more a burden than a continuation of mutual love, intimacy and growth, he is obligated to seek ways of marital renewal. One way is to seek competent Christian counseling assistance. At the same time the worker is encouraged to consult with the Circuit Counselor or another brother pastor in the matter. If the pastor has earnestly sought to renew the marital bond but the marriage continues to deterioriate, then the guidance of the District President should be sought and competent Christian counseling assistance becomes mandatory. Refusal to seek and utilize on a continuing basis this outside counseling resource in a time of serious marital deterioration must be construed as an unwillingness to use every opportunity to allow God's grace to renew the marriage. The one who has tasted of God's forgiving grace will want to extend that grace to the partner. We can always be sure that true reconciliation of marriage partners is God's will. B. When such efforts result in genuine renewal of the marital relationship, we rejoice in the graciousness of God and the new life for pastor and wife. If, despite such efforts at renewal, a marriage is approaching separation or divorce, the pastor and/or wife certainly should inform the Circuit Counselor and the District President so that they can relate to this situation and fulfill their respective responsibilities here. Failure to enter into such pastoral consultation with the District President prior to a separation or filing for divorce, can only be perceived as a disregard of the District President's responsibility, an unwillingness to take seriously the church's endorsement of the pastor's roster status, and an insensitivity to the impact of such action on the people of God and on the community. Such an attitude may finally become cause for ecclesiastical discipline. C. The District President's pastoral concern must encompass the pastor, his wife, their children, and the congregation or employing agency. In all of these encounters, he will seek to relate both God's will for marriage and God's love and concern for those who are experiencing broken relationships. An attitude of understanding and compassion must characterize the church. God is in the business of helping people where they hurt. The first concern must be pastoral, seeking to bring all the resources of both Law and Gospel to bear on the troubled situation. Among other things, the District President will review previous or present attempts at counseling with the pastor and his wife. If possible, he will seek out new initiatives for renewal and leave no possibility untapped that could work toward reconciliation. __________ D. When such efforts on the part of the District President, other counselors and the pastor/spouse result in renewal of the marriage, the church rejoices in God's healing power. But if in spite of these efforts the marriage continues to head toward separation or divorce, the District President, the pastor and wife shall agree when and how the official board of the pastor's congregation, agency or instibution shall be informed before the actual separation or filing of legal action for dissolution of marriage. The possibility exists that the District President and pastor will want to do this personally and together. The District President will counsel with all parties involved regarding the potential consequences both personal and professional. II. Guidelines for administration and assessing professional consequences. A. "Each District President, in accordance with the Constitution of the Synod, shall supervise the doctrine, life and the official administration on the part of the pastors and the teachers of his District" (1986 Handbook 4.73). Divorce among pastors is a tragic fact, always forgivable, sometimes recoverable, but never without its consequences. Because separation or divorce introduces a particularly disruptive element in the life of the undershepherd and his relationship to the flock, these procedures shall be followed by the District President in the best interest of all concerned. 1. If the pastor is guilty of fornication, adultery or malicious desertion, which results in separation or divorce, the District President after consulting with the leadership of the congregation shall ask him to resign from his pastorate and the clergy roster, or he shall suspend and remove him. (1986 Handbook, Art. XII 7-8; ByLaw 4.73). The congregation may also find it necessary to apply church disciplinary procedures to the pastor and/or his wife according to the principles of Matthew 18. 2. If the situation needs clarification, the District President shall ask the pastor to take a leave of absence for not more than three months. He will also recommend to the congregation the payment of two-thirds base salary while the circumstances of the impending divorce are being clarified to the satisfaction of the District President. During this period of time the pastor is not eligible for another call and should not perform pastoral functions. Meanwhile, the congregation has a unique opportunity to demonstrate Christian support and concern for the pastor and his family. 3. After consultation with the parties involved including the congregation and depending on the circumstances, the District President shall determine whether the pastor shall a. Remain at the congregation he is presently serving; b. Resign his present pastorate, be placed on CRM status and declared eligible for a call to another parish preferably in a different geographic area substantially removed from his present ministry; c. Resign his pastorate and be placed on CRM-R status until the matter can be clarified and a more appropriate status determined; d. Be asked to resign from his pastorate and the clergy roster, or be suspended and removed from the roster (1986 Handbook, Art. X1I 7-8; ByLaw 4.73). 4. The District President and Circuit Counselor should remain sensitive to the ongoing stress that the former pastor, his wife, family and congregation will continue to experience during the post divorce stage. B. Assuming evidence of repentance, the acceptance of forgiveness and willingness to cooperate, criteria to be considered by the District President include: 1. The Scriptural reason given for divorce (Matt. 5:31-32;19:3-9; Mark 10:2-12; I Cor. 7:10-15; Heb. 13:4); 2. The role of pastor as an example to the flock (I Tim. 3:2 & 7; 4:12; Tit. 1:7, 2:7-8; I Pet. 5:3); 3. The broader scope of Scriptural qualifications for holding the pastoral office especially as these impact on the congregation and community (I Tim. 3:1-7, 4:11-16; II Tim. 4:2-5; Titus 1:6-9); 4. The long term causes for the breakdown of the marriage; 5. The degree to which the pastor has acted or is acting responsibly toward his wife, family, congregation or calling group, and the District President; 6. Whether the pastor has remained faithful to his wife; 7. Whether adequate emotional and economic support is being given to his wife and the children of the marriage; 8. Whether there is evidence of personal growth and maturing; 9. The views of a professional counselor, offered with the permission of the pastor and/or wife. __________ C. It must be clear that the final decision about clergy roster status rests with the District President, subject to the proper routes of appeal outlined in the ByLaws of the Synod. In the event a pastor resigns from the clergy roster or is removed due to a broken marriage, the opportunity for reinstatement may exist (1986 Handbook, ByLaw 2.31; 2.33). However, there are some circumstances which make reinstatement impossible. Criteria for reinstatement shall include those items listed above under II B. Evidence of a change in the person or situation, if possible consultation with the District President who held of fine at the time of resignation or removal, and assurance that adequate professional counseling was received following the divorce. Care should be exercised not to confuse forgiveness with possession of the Scriptural qualifications for holding the office of the public ministry. The simple fact of remarriage to a new partner by itself shall not be construed as persuasive evidence for reinstatement. Pertinent information and evaluative materials shall be presented to the Council of Presidents to support any request for return to pastoral ministry. THE LUTHERAN CHURCH -- MISSOURI SYNOD 1333 South Kirkwood Road Saint Louis, Missouri 63122-7295 --------------------------------------------------------- file: /pub/resources/text/wittenberg/mosynod: marital.txt .